New Condom Will Change The Way You Fuck Forever!

"High-Speed" Product Promises High Speed Sex

Putting on a condom can be rough and tumble. First you got to open it, then you have position it, unroll it and by that time you may not be feeling so randy, thus closing the curtains on your carnal connection.

In an effort to help a brother out, South African entrepreneur Roelf Mulder has developed the "high-speed condom". South Africa's Mamba Online reports:

The new more hygienic condom is opened by means of two thumb-sized handles, which are used to slide it onto the penis. It can only be applied in one way. The applicator then pops off the bottom, and the entire operation is complete in just three seconds, compared to the 30 to 40 seconds needed to don the traditional or government issue item.

While it may save you a few sexy seconds, Mulder's company's looking to sell a pack of three for about four bones.

Some experts worry this high cost may make Mulder's efforts a shot in the dark. Still, it's better than a shot somewhere else, if you know what we mean...

Condom Application Given A Hand [Mamba Online]

Newsom's Gay Day Draws Fire

Conservatives Call Him Out Over Colt Studio Honor

San Francisco's long been a homo-hub. No surprise, then, that gay porn-centric Colt Studio has used the hilly sea-side city as its HQ for forty years, churning out such hits as Waterbucks 2 and Buckaroos.

In honor of the company's geographical camaraderie, Mayor Gavin Newsom and two other city officials proclaimed last Friday "Colt Studio Day". Conservatives, meanwhile, took aim at the liberal lad. Reverend Louis P. Sheldon of the Traditional Values Coalition said:

San Francisco has proven yet again why they remain the mocked city of the country. No other major city in the nation has gone so far as to blatantly glorify a homosexual porn producer and company.

Hmm, we had no idea SF's the most mocked city in America. We thought that was Gary, Indiana.

Not one to miss a good finger-wagging, Bill O'Reilly mused:

There is not another city in the country that has ever had a 'gay porn day. And you wonder why your city is looked upon as a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah?

Sounds like he's been trading notes with Sheldon because, again, we were unaware of this reputation. We must be reading different bathroom walls.

SF mayor called to task over gay porn proclamation [The Mercury News]